


nudes, lewds, and bewbs

by Dresupi



Series: Fool Me Once; Fool Me Twice (April Fool's Crack Smut) [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Darcyland April Fool's Smut Challenge, F/M, Nudity, Oral Sex, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Smut, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 10:27:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: In a nightmarish turn of events, Darcy accidentally sends the wrong selfie to Bucky.Written for a prompt fillandfor Day 6 of the Darcyland April Fool's Smut Challenge, 'Some Kind of Glorious Misunderstanding'.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [turntostone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntostone/gifts).



> llygaidwideshut on tumblr prompted me "Wintershock, Photography Tutorials (the nsfw kind)", and I thought it fell in really well with this idea I had for Day 6 of the dlafsmutchallenge. <3 
> 
> Read about the Smut Challenge [here](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/157863665183/hey-guys-have-you-ever-wanted-a-reason-to)
> 
> Check out the AMAZING [manips](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/159267398889/day-6-some-kind-of-glorious-misunderstanding) by LittlePlebe! <3 <3 <3 Thank you, doll! <3

 

Darcy’s phone buzzed on the table beside her.  She reached out absently, nearly knocking it down on the floor, but catching it just in time. 

She glanced down at the screen.  A text from Bucky.  

_ “Did you just SEE that?”   _

She laughed aloud.  

_ “Yes, dork.  I’m watching the same thing you were.”   _

Placing the phone on the bed beside her, she stretched out her legs. Her feet were a little cold, but Darcy couldn’t really complain about her comfort level.  Comfy loungewear, fresh linens on her bed and ‘Deadliest Warrior’ on Netflix.  

She and Bucky had started this little dorky thing where they watched a couple episodes of various TV shows together a few nights a week.   _ That _ wasn’t the dorky thing, though.  The dorky thing was that they did this two floors apart in the comfort of their own apartments.  

Not that she’d object to a pajama-clad super soldier in bed beside her, but she didn’t think they were there yet.  

She wasn’t even calling him her boyfriend.  Even though he kind of was.  

If macking on each other in the elevator and movie dates with shared popcorn counted as boyfriend/girlfriend activities.  Then yes, he kind of  _ was _ her boyfriend.  

However, despite the few times they’d kissed/made out, their relationship wasn’t  _ really _ physical yet.  And somehow, lying on a bed watching Netflix  _ seemed _ like it would lead to something physical.  ‘Netflix and chill’ culture and all that. She’d had to describe to her boyfriend/not boyfriend/Bucky-friend exactly what ‘Netflix and Chill’ meant.  So they both  _ knew _ there were some connotations with what they were doing.  Better to keep two floors between them than rush into anything they weren’t ready for.  

Her phone buzzed again.

_ “I could take that guy.”  _

She snorted, quickly typing out her response.   _ “Please, spare me the macho-man routine…”   _

_ “Macho man?  I’m offended.  You don’t think I could take on a Spartan?”   _

Darcy rolled her eyes.  

_ “I think you can take on whoever you want to, Muscles.”   _

The response came back almost instantaneously.   _ “I could take YOU on.”   _

She had to laugh.   _ “Whatever dude. Ain’t nobody can beat me.”   _

_ “I can.  I’m stronger than you.   _ (Winking Face ) _ (Winking Face ) _ (Flexed Biceps ) _ ”   _

She sat up, her back against the headboard.  She lifted her arm up in her best imitation of Rosie the Riveter and snapped a selfie.  She looked utterly ridiculous in her flannel shirt, thick-rimmed-glasses and half-ponytail/half-bun of flyaway curls on top of her head, but Bucky loved it when she sent him selfies.  

If she was lucky, she’d get one back.  Shirtless.  Shirtless Bucky was amazing and drool-worthy.  

She opened up her texts, mentally kicking herself for not just taking the picture  _ in _ the app so she could send it without looking through her whole gallery.  

She tapped the picture, opting to type in a caption to send along with it. 

_ “Really?  Check out THESE guns.” _

She tapped send, only then realizing the enormous mistake she’d just made.  

Seriously, damn her for not taking the selfie in the app.  Damn her vanity.  

Because she hadn’t sent Bucky, her almost-but-not-quite-boyfriend the cutsey little selfie she’d just taken.  The one with her hair all curly and her glasses and her lazy loungewear.  

No.  

Of course not.  

She’d sent him the topless nude she’d taken a few days back.  

Why did she even  _ have _ a nude on her phone?  Because she was an idiot, that’s why.  She’d done her makeup, and was sitting there, sans bra with awesome makeup, and her hair was fuckably mussed, so yeah.  She took a fucking topless shot because she’d looked amazing.  

Sue her.  

Or don’t.  

_ Just hit me over the back of the head with something so it’s quick and painless.  PLEASE?   _

She watched as the picture appeared in their chat conversation.  Along with her stupid, STUPID caption.  

“NOOOOOOOO!” she yelped, rising up to her knees and screaming at her phone.  Like somehow, if she screamed loud enough, it’d hear her and stop this madness.  

Her face burned. Her cheeks flushed.  Her heart beat rapidly and her brain was slowly, SLOWLY, trying to destroy itself.  Massive organ failure by severe embarrassment.     

“GOD WHY?” Darcy groaned, collapsing in on herself.  “WHY?”  

Her phone buzzed in her hand.  She almost didn’t want to look.  Maybe she could just crawl under her bed and die.  They’d come looking for her once the smell overtook the tower, right?  

She took a deep breath and turned her head to the side, sliding her thumb across her phone lock to open it.  

Bucky had replied.  

_ “Damn, sweetheart.  You win.  You knocked me DEAD from two floors up!  _ (Skull ) (Ghost ) (Skull ) _ ”   _

She groaned, beating her head against the soft mattress and bemoaning her existence.  What she wouldn’t give for a time machine so she could go back in time to four minutes ago, yank her phone out of past-Darcy’s hand and beat it against the side table until the screen shattered. 

She quickly typed out a response.   _ “Oh my god...Bucky...I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to send that…”   _

He wasn’t supposed to see the ladies for a couple more weeks at least.  The ladies were no joke.  The ladies were the real deal.  The ladies were  _ not  _  for the faint at heart. 

_ “What did you mean to send?”   _

She swiped around on her phone again, only succeeding to send the same nude again.  Accidentally.  Again.  The same one.  

“Oh my god, I am too dumb to live!”  She groaned against her duvet.  

_ “Fucking kill me, oh my god…”   _

_ “Hate to break it to ya, but you sent that one already, doll.   _ (Winking Face ) (Winking Face ) (Winking Face ) ” __

She (slowly this time), swiped around on her screen, and sent the correct picture this time.  

_ “This one…”  _ she texted.   _ “This is the one I meant to send…”   _

_ “Awww, you’re adorable.”   _

_ “Adorably inept.”   _

_ “No way!  You’re amazing. Hey, listen.  I’m gonna send you one back, okay? Hold onto your panties.”   _

The picture that came through was utterly unbelievable.  He’d somehow adopted the same exact pose as her nude.  He was leaning back against his bed, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as his fingers trailed down his left...pec.  

_ “What do ya think?  I think yours is better, but I think I did a good job.  _ ( Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) (Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) (Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) (Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) (Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) _ ”   _

She laughed.  Giggled.  Guffawed.  He was amazing.  How he could even make her feel better after that was simply...amazing.  

_“Bravo!”_ She replied.   _“Inspired.  I love it._ (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Kiss Mark ) _”_

_ “I want to send you one for real tho…”   _ was his next message.   _ “Like what you sent me?”   _

_ “Isn’t that what you did?”   _

_ “No, I mean...I want to send you nude and lewd photos.”   _

“Nude and lewd?  Oh my blob…”  

He continued,  _ “It’s just...ya know, I think I need help.  And you’re the expert, obviously.  Because yours is doing it for me.”   _

Her heart started thumping again.   _ “What do you need help with, Buck?”   _

_ “Uhh...positioning? Lighting?  Everything.  I should probably just come up there.  I think I need one-on-one assistance.  If you’re up for it, that is.  _ (Winking Face ) (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes ) (Dizzy Face ) _ ”   _

Darcy grinned, biting her bottom lip again.   _ “Dude, I’m up for it if you are.”   _

He was knocking on her door not ten minutes later.  

She walked towards it shakily, her hand freezing on the doorknob as she paused to compose herself.  She took a deep breath before pulling the door open.  

He was standing there on the other side, a half-smirk on his lips that belied a barely contained grin.  “Hey there, Gorgeous.”  

She felt her cheeks flush and she opened the door wider and stepped back so he could come in.  “You only think I’m gorgeous because you got to see the  _ bewbs _ .”  

He arched an eyebrow, shooting her an incredulous look.  “Are you kidding?  Those are nice, doll, but I’ve always thought you were gorgeous.”  

She knew that.  Of course she knew that.  Bucky had no qualms about his attraction for her.  He’d been flirting with her since day one.  She knew he was ‘sweet on her’ as he put it.  

“Listen, I’m happy to keep this in separate rooms…” he said slowly, shifting on his feet.  “If you’re not ready for more than just a picture, that is…”  

She had to bite her lip to keep from beaming over at him.  “I thought you were the one who wasn’t ready for more…”  

“Sweetheart...I am always ready for more with you. I just ain’t the type to push for it…”  

“Well, in that case...about face, soldier.  March.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and steered him down the hall.    

“Where are we marchin’?” he asked.  

“Bathroom.  All good dick pics happen in a bathroom.  Unless you want to send me some subpar, grainy shot from your bedroom in the dark, that is…”  

“You never answered my question about separate rooms…” he reminded her as she ushered him into the bathroom and turned on her vanity mirror lights. 

“Hmmm, well...why don’t you send me this first one from in here, and then we’ll play it by ear, okay?  I might not bite the hook, ya know.”  

“Darcy, if you’re gonna be bitin’ anything, be gentle with me?” His blue eyes twinkled with humor and she swatted his shoulder playfully in response.  

“Okay, so…” she walked around to stand behind him.  “Usually, you’re naked for this, but I’ll leave the room before you do that…” She winked at his reflection in the mirror.  “Stand back here, so I can see…” she reached around his waist, running her hand over his abs.  “I’m a fan of the whole package, so...ya know.  Maybe go for a full body?”  

His breath caught in his throat when her fingers danced around the waistband of his pants.  “What about my…” he trailed off, but she got the direction he was going.  

“Wrap your hand around it?”  She pressed her lips to his back as she slipped her hand down his front.  “I mean, make sure it’s…” she gulped.  “Hard before you take the pic…”  

His hand covered hers as he tugged it down further, resting over a stiff bulge in his jeans.  “I don’t think that’s a problem...kinda been that way since you sent yours…”  

She watched his eyes flutter closed in the mirror as she palmed him in his pants.  If she kept that up, pictures weren’t happening; the only thing that would be taken was her, bent over the sink.  

“Should I take everything off? Or just...pull it out?” he asked.   

She swallowed again, her hand still pressed against his erection.  “Jeans off...shirt off...underwear on?”  

He nodded, his voice raspy when he spoke again.  “Check.”  

She let her hands drop from his body, taking a step back.  “I’ll leave you to it, then…”  

His eyes followed her as she left him in the bathroom, thinking that this was likely the kinkiest thing she’d ever done in her life.  Sending nudes back and forth with a guy who was literally one room away.  She wasn’t sure what kind of kink it was?  Tantric kink?  Teasing kink?  

Darcy got herself situated on the bed, her leg bouncing nervously as she waited for the humming buzz of her phone.  She wondered if Bucky was nervous.  He was a grade A specimen, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t self conscious.  

Hell.  She’d taken that topless shot because she thought she looked hot.  And she STILL was mortified to have sent to him.  

Well...not mortified, not anymore.  

Bucky was sort of being perfect about the whole thing.  Not gross.  Not demanding anything.  

No, he just wanted to give as good as he got.  

And she could definitely get on board with a giver.  

Her phone buzzed and her heart leapt into her throat.  She took a deep breath and swiped across the screen to unlock it.  

The text conversation with Bucky opened immediately and she was fairly certain she was having a heart attack.  

The picture he’d sent.  Holy moly.  

He wasn’t looking at the camera, but he was smirking, that dimple in his chin was really pronounced, his metal arm was holding the phone and his other hand was wrapped around his...his…

Her brain wasn’t working well enough to come up with a good euphemism.  

His cock.  He had his other hand wrapped around his cock and Darcy nearly choked on her own tongue when she looked at it.  Her gaze drifted rapidly back and forth from his face to his junk before it just settled on the junk.  He was wearing blue boxer briefs and they were riding low.  Really low so he could tug his dick out far enough    

Her face was blazing hot and other parts of her were heating up too.  

Not that she wasn’t hot already from what had happened in the bathroom.  

Feeling and seeing were two different things, though.  

_ “Send me one back, doll?”   _

His message blipped onto the screen beneath the picture and she kind of snapped out of her trance.  He wanted something in response.  

She sat up, reaching for the hem on her pajamas before grabbing the phone to shoot back a quick response.   _ “Be right with you, gathering up my jaw from the floor.  ;)”   _

She yanked the pajama top off, debating on whether to include a bottom shot this time. 

Darcy settled for a hand discreetly covering the important bits, but shedding every article of clothing.  

She laid back on the pillows, zooming out with her phone camera in order to get all the juicy parts in the picture.  When she was satisfied with the angle, she sent the picture, being super careful to send it in the chat she had open.  No need to include anyone else in their kinky little playtime.

The next picture she got was a close up of his hand on his dick.  His thumb was pressed against the head, his other fingers gripped the shaft, sliding the foreskin up.  

Her heart was pounding as she slid her fingers down her belly, pressing them into the hot slickness between her legs.  She spread her knees and spread herself with two fingers, snapping the picture as she circled her clit.  

She was nervous sending the picture, not that she was ashamed of her business or anything.  (She happened to think her business was GOOD business, thank you very much).  But sending one’s business to anyone via text message was nerve wracking.  She was sure Bucky felt the same way.  

She was also tingling with anticipation, unsure where this was going.  If this was going to end with Bucky finishing in her bathroom or out here with her.  If she was going to rub herself to completion while he watched from the other room  If they were going to send each other tantalizing pictures until their heads exploded.  

Another message popped in, answering that question for her.  

_ “I really want to come out there with you...but I’ll stay in here if that’s what you want.” _

She swallowed thickly before replying.  

“I want you to come out here….” she said, raising her voice slightly so it would carry through the bathroom door.  

She was aching, her fingers still pressed against her clit.  A surge of desire coursed through her veins as the door opened.  

He still had on his underwear, but he tugged them down as he made his way to the bed.  “Fuck me, I want you, doll....” 

Bucky wrapped his hand around his dick again, stroking himself even stiffer as he settled between her legs.  She spread them wide on either side of him.  “Ditto…” she managed to reply.  “I want you, Bucky...please?”  

He abandoned his dick, reaching for her instead.  His metal arm slid around her lower back and he hoisted her effortlessly up into his lap.  He sat back on his heels and she straddled his hips, feeling his hard cock press against her center.  

Reaching down to take him in hand, her heart and mind raced as she lined him up and sank down.  

His breath hitched as his hand, the cybernetic one, cupped her right ass cheek and lifted her gently up and down, fucking her onto his cock.  

Bucky’s other hand, the flesh one, teased at her nipples as his breath huffed out hot against her neck.  “Christ, you feel good…I wanted...fuck, m’ not gonna last…”  

She nodded and kissed him once.  “That’s fine...I’m good.”  

“No, I’ll...I’ll take care of you, doll.”  

She had to smile at that.  She’d been talking about birth control.  He was talking about her pleasure.  

“I know you will, Buck...I was talking about birth control.”  

His eyes widened.  “Oh right.  That’s important.”  

She nodded, grinning as she rocked her hips slightly.  He wasn’t affording her much leeway as far as movement went, so she was having to rely on some tricks.  She squeezed around him, making him whimper into her shoulder. 

“Darcy…” he moaned.  “Fuck...you feel so good.  You’re perfect, holy fff…”  

He abandoned her breasts, instead wrapping his flesh hand around her waist too.  He cupped her other ass cheek and fucked her down against him.  He was chanting something...her name. Over and over and over again as he thrust through his release.  

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph…” he mumbled into her hair.  She felt him swallow against her before laying her back on the mattress.  

She squealed as he grasped her hips, running his hands up her legs and hooking them over his shoulders.  “Buck, you just…”  She was about to remind him that he’d just... _ finished _ in her and his semen was literally dripping out onto her sheets

But his face was already buried between her legs.  His tongue swept out over her, giving her some firm strokes right around her clit. When he dipped down further, swirling his tongue up  _ into  _ her...well…

He hummed against her, moving up to flick at her clit again.  

Darcy groaned aloud and reached down to tangle her hand in his hair.  

It didn’t take long for her to find her release.  She gripped his hair and rocked up against his lips and tongue, his very talented mouth.  

Blue eyes peered up at her from between her legs as he watched her fall apart.  

“Holy shit…” she panted, releasing his hair.  “I fucking...oh my god…”  

He wiped his mouth on her bedspread and crawled up her body to kiss her lips.  He grinned.  “Kinda feel like we did that out of order...sorry about that.  Kinda barreled out here into you…”  

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  “No complaints here.”  

“You got me really worked up with those pictures…” he said slowly. “Some kind of wizard with that camera…”  

She laughed.  “Don’t play coy.  You’re the one who came up here wanting me to show you how to take a dick pic and then fucking blew me out of the water.  You should model.  You’re gorgeous.”  

He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.  “Only for you, doll.”  

He rolled her over onto her side and she tucked herself in beside him, realizing how much better it was to have her  _ naked _ super soldier tucked in beside her than two floors down.  “You know…” she mused.  “I’m definitely glad I accidentally sent you that nude.”  

He chuckled.  “That makes two of us.  I wasn’t sure how I was gonna break the ice...but as it turns out...your naked breasts do a great job of ice breaking.”  

“I’ll write that down on their resume,” she said with a laugh.  “They knock people’s socks off, put eyes out and break ice.”  

“They’re really multi-talented.”  

“Impressed?”  

“I think you know the answer to that.”    

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/), if that's a thing you do. <3


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